Ruptured

Anyone who has seen me or my left eye in the past week (though I imagine that most people who see my left eye also see me at the same time, but I digress) has noticed that it is slightly red.

It's quite irritating-- the sun especially makes it painful. And, of course, I'm too vain to not wear contacts.

I have determined that this redness has been caused by a ruptured blood vessel in my eye, and that ruptured blood vessels are most commonly caused by...

Wait for it...

STRESS.

My stress has physically manifested itself in the form of a ruptured blood vessel. I'm also very achy at the moment, but that might just be from my most recent 4-hour chemistry study session. But if stress is really behind my ruptured blood vessel, it certainly has good cause. Let's take a look at the last five days of Eric's life:

Saturday: Vocal Master Class and CD/DVD recording for college auditions. Plus rehearsal for said CD/DVD recording.

Sunday: All of the homework that I didn't do because of Saturday's events. On top of seeing a show at the Arvada Center (which I'm not complaining about-- but it certainly didn't give me any extra time.)

Monday: Sweeney Rehearsal, plus Chemistry Study Session, plus half of an Act of Hamlet to read, PLUS working on a giant history project that we didn't even present on Tuesday. (That was a bit of a spirit breaker.)

Tuesday: More Sweeney Rehearsal, plus singing the national anthem at the soccer game, plus more chem studying (we have a test Friday-- AHH!), plus Hamlet notes. Plus an hour out of my evening to watch GLEE. (Again... not complaining)

Wednesday: MORE SWEENEY (which I love, don't get me wrong), piano lessons, voice lessons, and extreme chem study session (I actually worked through all of Robertson's worksheets and feel fairly confident). Plus all the homework that I haven't done yet because I chose to blog about my stress. It's really just a therapeutic way for me to vent my frustrations-- so I'm going to say that this is actually productive.

The chemistry test is Friday. One of four tests of the year. Thursday night, I have Willy Wonka rehearsal (though not the full time... thank goodness.) I really hope I get a little bit of time to have one last jam-packed session of studying, because I'll need it.

I have determined that there are not enough hours in the day. It's not just my blood vessel that has been ruptured. I feel like I have been ruptured-- torn apart in two trying to keep track of everything. Sometimes I just need to take a moment and rest. But there's no time-- probably because I spend all of my extra time blogging about my stress (again-- it's generally productive because it allows me to rest my brain.)

It doesn't help me to know that it's just going to get worse before it gets better. I still have college apps to fill out, scholarships to obtain, and an Extended Essay to finalize. I'm sure that I'm rupturing millions of little blood vessels just by thinking about all of this.

So yeah. I feel ruptured. Physically and mentally. I think I'm just going to sleep through the entire weekend.

Two-Face

Today was a fairly stressful day for me. And all the stress had one common root: Chemistry.

I am not skilled in the world of sciences. I thank God every day that I have a decent voice, because I'd otherwise be screwed. I'm not even kidding.

The thing about chemistry that gets me the most is the fact that it's like a two-faced teenage girl (I use the feminine for the simple purposes of comparison-- there are no doubt two-faced boys out there as well. I simply am using it because I'm sexist.) Chemistry never has a simple set of rules of follow. No. It's gotta follow one set of rules for one process, and a whole other set for a different process. There's no simplistic way to just know it. There are simply too many sets of rules to understand.

Today, I went to school feeling fairly confident about my chemistry worksheet that I had worked on last night. That is, until second period, when I realized, to my complete and utter horror, that I had done the entire sheet incorrectly. I had followed the processes for a strong acid in a reaction that produced a weak one. Immediately, I panicked and started trying to figure out the true answers.

We also had a quiz in chem on Periodicity-- a subject we "learned" (and I use that term loosely) last year. I think I did okay on it. Hopefully I did, because I haven't been faring well on the quizzes this far into the year.

With ten minutes of our class time spent on a quiz, we got to spend the last fifteen minutes of the hour to finish a lab that we hadn't been able to finish yesterday, due to time constraints. Our group, luckily, was able to finish the lab-- other groups weren't so lucky. They'll hopefully be able to finish their labs in due course.

When I finally got to Spanish 8th hour (late, of course), I sat down and realized how exhausted (mentally and physically) that I was. Chemistry is going to be the death of me. I was hoping that I would be able to do better this year, since Ms. Robertson is more assertive and no-nonsense-- a type of teacher I do well with. Hopefully this is just a nasty speed-bump that will pass with time.

I have some choppy waters ahead of me in the proverbial sea of chemistry.